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Plenty Of Fish In The Sea: How To Get Back In The Dating Pool


People in healthy relationships are 20% less likely to die early than people who live more isolated lives.

But that is only half of the equation. Studies have shown that people in satisfying relationships are healthier and happier than people who choose to face life alone.

While your life goals might be to grow your career, attain financial stability, or work out more, building and nurturing great relationships is just as important.

If you are newly divorced, separated, or have been recovering from a bad break up, you might be a little apprehensive about allowing someone into your life.

Regardless of your reasons for taking a sabbatical, getting back into dating can be intimidating. However, don’t let your fears hold you back from the possibility of finding a great companion.

We understand you might be a little rusty, so here are some tips to get you some mileage.

1. Asses Your Readiness to Start Dating

The only worse thing than not dating is starting to date before you are ready. This puts added pressure on you than is necessary and sets up any relationships up for failure way before they begin.

The idea of being ready is different from one person to the next and is at times, dependent on how the last relationship ended.

The process of getting ready, therefore focuses on closure and taking care of your emotional health so that you are prepared to bring in a new person into your life.

If you can’t go an hour without talking about your ex or stalking them online, you probably need a little more time.

2. Work on You

Try and think about a time when you felt at your best physically, mentally, and emotionally.

This is important because your feelings about yourself dictate how you feel and the energy you give off.

For example, if you just came off an abusive relationship, your self-esteem might have taken a beating. This lowers your confidence levels, and it shows.

You want to try and go back to the time you were at your best.

Little things such a new dress, a new hairdo, working out again, reconnecting with your old friends and family can do wonders to uplift your spirit.

3. Figure out What You Are Looking For

Before getting back onto the saddle, think about what it is you want. Some people want another long term relationship, others want a short fling and others want a few fun, no-strings-attached dates.

If you’re looking for a fun time with no commitments, hiring an escort can be a quick, convenient way to accomplish that. Here are things you should know when hiring an escort service.

You can use these dates to polish up your socializing and communication skills as well.

4. Test the Waters

It’s okay and understandable if you do not want to dive into the deep end. Yet.

Here, you can do some “soft” dating by dating in low-pressure situations. The internet is excellent for this.

Here is how to go about it:

Find a Dating Website

Find a credible online dating site. Ideally, one with complete profiles and some gatekeeping to ensure there are some quality candidates.

Create a profile and try and be true to who you are and articulate what you are looking for in a partner.

Ensure not to include any personal information such as your address, workplace, and so on.

Start Slow

Look at a few member profiles and see if there is anyone you have an interest in, then message them.

If all goes well, you can message back and forth and see how conversations and flirting goes, without losing total anonymity.

Be Cautious

If all goes well for some time and you get to know each other better, you can arrange for an in-person date when you are comfortable enough to do so.

When you do, make sure to follow all online dating safety rules to the letter.

5. Use Your Resources

If you feel a little bit less dreary about the dating process, it’s time to kick things up a notch.

Your circles of friends and family know you better than most other people do. For this reason, they probably know your “type’’ and the best fit for you.

You can let them know you are ready to start seeing people and have them introduce you to people they feel would be good fits.

Again, ease into it. Double and group dates are a great way to enjoy new company with much less pressure.

To draw attention from yourself, you can also pick an activity date.

Anything from swimming to bowling to golf. This way you get to interact with your date in a more relaxed setting than you would have, at say a dinner date.

6. Put Yourself Out There

When you start getting the hang of it, you can start putting yourself out there.
The best way to meet people is by meeting people, and the best place to do that is outside your home and office.

Figure out what hobbies and activities you used to enjoy. Or even new ones you would love to try.

Join community groups and other spaces that allow you to contribute your time as you meet new people.

You just might meet someone you fancy, or make new friends. Either way, you win.

7. Go Easy on Yourself

You might have to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince.

It’s okay if your first few dates are disastrous. Do not beat yourself up if your dates are not magical.

In the initial stages, your goal is to get your feet wet, see what’s out there and possibly have some fun.

Getting Back into Dating: Be Open for Love

While finding a soulmate may take some time, getting back into dating can help you find love again.

When you think about the love, companionship, and longevity, a great relationship will bring, you will realize dating is well worth the trouble.

Do not forget to take care of yourself. Do the things that make you happy and uplifted.

Continue reading our blog for more tips.