By Michael Padro, Senior Negotiation Training Expert at The Gap Partnership.
Michael Padro is a results-driven negotiation consultant and Manager at The Gap Partnership, specializing in business negotiation training and consulting. With extensive experience across retail, CPG, pharma, tech, and procurement, he has trained hundreds of professionals in effective negotiation techniques.
Michael excels in mentoring teams, facilitating impactful negotiation workshops, and delivering exceptional client experiences both in person and virtually. His negotiation training programs have helped organizations achieve measurable results in complex business negotiations.
How Pressure Affects Our Negotiation Skills and Communication
What is the impact of pressure on our ability to express ourselves confidently and precisely during business negotiations? Let’s explore the intriguing connections between language, stress, and negotiation outcomes.
“I don’t mean to be rude, but…” After reading those words, what’s the first thing to come to mind? Something negative, I imagine. Similar phrases such as, “I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news, but…” or “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…” are often used in conversation when one party is about to say or do something the other may not like. The first few words are designed to forewarn and cushion the negative impact of what follows.
This begs the question: who is the beneficiary of these statements? You might think it is the individual receiving the message. But what if I told you it’s actually the person delivering the message who is benefiting from this cushioning?
As the bearer of bad news, they’re likely to be stressed, so they use such phrases to try and reduce the shock the other party feels when the news is communicated, and in turn, any adverse reaction it may elicit. It’s just one example of how we use language in an attempt to reduce or at least limit the stress we feel in a situation.
So what else happens to language when we experience stress? It generally manifests itself in two ways – the things you do and the things you say. In times of conflict and stress, people look for ways to cope in an attempt to buy back their comfort.
So in the cushioning example, our news-bearer is expecting a negative response, which makes them uncomfortable. In an attempt to ease the tension, they say things they believe will make the situation easier.
Researchers have looked more deeply into how language is affected when we’re under stress. A 2014 study by Saslow et al., which had subjects giving a speech in stressful circumstances, found evidence linking a positive emotional reaction to stress to higher levels of cognitive complexity.
They reported that, “the more participants responded to [giving] the stressful speech by feeling higher levels of positive emotions (“happy,” “interested,” “satisfied,” “pleased,” “content,” “glad,” and “inspired”), the higher their levels of linguistic cognitive complexity.”
And vice versa – the more participants became distressed in response to the stressful event, the lower their cognitive complexity.
In other words, the more stressed you are, the simpler your thoughts become. The impact of this in negotiation training and practice could be significant. Someone who is feeling confident will be able to articulate their thoughts more effectively than someone feeling more stressed – who, as a result, may then say more than they intended.
With talk of a looming recession, we are gearing up for intense rounds of negotiations with all parties looking to secure the best deal possible. We must not be tempted to buy back our comfort during these negotiations. So, we must say what we mean and mean what we say.
It is critical that your language is firm and concise during such times. The reality is, if you speak with language that allows you to appear moveable, your counterpart will pounce on the opportunity and run with it.
How do we ensure that we speak more firmly, more precisely, and more concisely in negotiations?
This simple, four-point negotiation training checklist should help:
- Avoid thinking and speaking at the same time. By taking the time to stay silent and actively consider what you want to say next, you’ll allow yourself the opportunity to eliminate the moveable language from any statements or proposals you plan to make during the negotiation.
- Don’t attempt to sell your position. It’ll only serve to undermine it!
- Do the prep work. The more prepared you are for your negotiations, the more confident you will be.
- Keep calm. Negotiations are uncomfortable. No one will be able to change that. But you can control how you choose to manage that discomfort. The sooner you accept it, the better off you will be!
